If there’s one thing in this life that I’m sure of, it’s that I would have made the single most prodigious 1940’s pin up / forces sweetheart.
Sure, I’d have mucked about with Vera Lynn but when it came to billing, I’d have been top dog - no messing.
It’s not simply a physical thing (although what I can do with a pea jacket and a saddle shoe would take your breath away) it’s more that I am the embodiment of war-time vim & vigour.
I have the stiff upper lip, never say die, roll out the barrel attitude that made Britain great. I also have a good centre of balance, so Big Band Swing’s a cinch.
I have been stalked several times in the past. Once solely for complementing a man on his posture.
The warning signs are back - I can literally feel eyes burning into me. Its either unwanted attention or I’m being constantly branded by a very sly cow poke.
Pizza is the wargamer’s food of choice. Toga Pizza, the takeaway nearest our shop, eventually named our preferred choice “The Orc’s Bucket”, - 15″ thick crust with extra cheese, extra onions, sweetcorn, ham, jalapeño, blutwurst, prawns, carrot and melted marshmallow.
Appropriate karaoke songs for this moment:
- Should I stay or should I go?
- He ain’t heavy, he’s my brother
- Living on a prayer
- Stuck in the middle with you
- Anything by Chas and Dave
final fanfare’s closing notes hang heavy in the air, the performer rides the well deserved wave of adoring applause and with a grin bids a fond “thank you, good night & god bless”.
I liked it better when we were on a quest. It’s better to be going at something rather than from it. Best of all is to be in your own room, doing and making, at your own pace. But those days are gone.
I feel a bit twitchy and we’ve got no pop to settle my nerves.
When I first started out as a documentary film maker I made a list of things I would never do even for a great story:
1. Put the lives of my immediate family in danger
2. The human trafficking of children
3. Have sex with a woman who marks less than 4/10
4. Black up in inner city areas
5. Sleep rough
6. Eat directly from a tin.
Looks like I’m going to have to revise the last two.
